7/21/2018 0 Comments
When we are in a toxic relationship with someone we love, we usually cannot see that clearly because we simply are IN it. We are part of the problem. The frustration, anger, resentment, numbness, dis-empowerment and overall unhappiness usually end up feeling “normal”.
In all my years on Earth and through all that I have experienced and witnessed, I believe that very few life events are more hurtful than the feelings of rejection, especially from people who we love and care about.
Certainly, there are people who have been rejected so many times in their lives that they get used to rejection and overcome it seemingly fast.
However, very few individuals say that their self-esteem is high right after getting rejected. I suspect that most of those who claim to be alright after rejection just suppress the pain that it causes, so that they can continue navigating through life.
These are few things that I have practiced after being rejected which have helped me feel empowered and heal faster and I highly recommend anyone to try:
- Grieve. Cry out loud, shed all your tears, scream, curse. Having temper tantrums are very healing. You will find that it gets old soon enough.
- Get out of bed as soon as you wake up, period; even when you cannot find a reason to do it and feel that the World is about to end.
- Get your butt off the couch. If you are not into exercising yet, just a 5-minute brisk walk will change your mood. You see, when we exercise our bodies release chemicals called endorphins which interact with the receptors in our brain that reduce our perception of pain. Force yourself to do some type of exercise regardless of how broken hearted you are and how pointless it feels.
- Take a shower, get dressed up as if you were having an appointment at an office or going out to dinner at a nice restaurant, even if you stay home. It will make you feel better when you look at the reflection in the mirror.
- Eat healthier foods and stop buying junk foods and drinks. I know that it is very hard to eat ice cream and feel sad at the same time, but I promise that you will heal much faster when you nourish your body with the right nutrients.
- Taking high-quality, vegetarian multivitamins/minerals complex daily has helped me tremendously for the past three decades to stay physically healthy no matter the circumstances. If you haven’t taken supplements before, consult your physician. If your body produces too much iron, know that there are excellent supplements that don’t contain that mineral.
- Get out of the house, take a different route and go to places that you have not visited before: a different coffee shop, grocery store, park, restaurant, etc. Changing scenery and seeing new faces create new experiences and memories. There were times when I would cry my eyes out every single day for weeks, but I knew deep inside that I was going to survive the pain and that it shall pass eventually.
I remember forcing myself out for a walk/run with my face soaked in tears, getting out of breath from crying and feeling like crap; a couple of minutes later my attention would shift suddenly to avoid tripping over a stone or protruding root, to the loud chirp of birds alerting one another as I ran under their tree branches, to the squirrel that crossed my path unexpectedly chasing who-knows-what and making me jump to avoid running over it, to the old neighbor who shouted something funny as I ran passed him.
I always return home smiling and feeling SO much better and stronger after only 20 minutes of doing my high-low aerobic routine.
Rejection feels plain awful, no doubt. Yet, having been rejected means that we have been courageous to be vulnerable and to open our hearts fully to someone. It means that we have been willing to be hurt for the sake of love. It means that love matters to us, and that is great!
Closing our hearts to love for the fear of rejection is, to me, like refusing to take a heavenly trip around the World for the fear of stepping in the wrong airplane.
I am grateful for having been rejected, because it has awakened me to a new reality where I feel even more humble and appreciative of all I have and receive.
I hope that you go to sleep tonight feeling a little happier and that tomorrow you feel much happier than today.